There are less than 15 days until we meet our new baby. Excuse my using of this phrase, but it really feels like just yesterday I was sitting in our little travel trailer checking the pregnancy test. We, my husband and 6 month old son, were on a spring break vacation trip to the beach. Camping with a baby has its highs and lows. The night before I took the pregnancy test was a low for sure. It was a long night of failed attempts to get the baby to sleep. Vacation would not have been the term my husband or I used to describe that night. And on that rough night, where we put Declan in his carseat as a last attempt to get him sleeping, we drove around looking at all the beautiful beach houses. Agreeing on which ones we liked or would be willing to live in. Agreeing on which ones we thought were not right for us. Eventually Declan fell asleep. Babies always eventually fall asleep on those tough nights.
Since Declan was only 6 months old, I didn’t have to buy a pregnancy test. We got a two pack when we checked to see if we were pregnant with him, so I simply packed the other one along. Although I normally am one to double or triple check things like the stove being turned off or the truck being locked, I don’t need to see anymore than 1 positive pregnancy test to be convinced.
I could tell before we left for the camping vacation that I was probably pregnant. I sneaky sneak brought along the test. And I sneaky sneak took it the morning after that rough night. The pregnant line wasn’t sneaky sneak though. It popped up instantly. And very boldly.
I kept the little secret to myself all day. I climbed back in bed with my family, nursed Declan, and tried to digest the news. Tried to figure out how to tell my husband, after a terrible night with a baby, that we were pregnant again. So soon. Not one baby but two.
And now, here we are. 8 months later. 15 days or less until we get to meet the newest member of our little (but growing quickly) family. That morning in the trailer feels so close.
This pregnancy has been wildly different than my pregnancy with Declan. The doctor has concerns about this baby so I have been going twice a week to have an ultrasound done and a non-stress test done.
A specialist came and did an ultrasound on baby. She quickly lectured me for having babies so close together.
Each time my baby is being tested, I do my best to remain calm. I do my best to let the nurses (or I’m not sure their exact title) hook up the machines, read what the machines tell them, and not over react if I see them pause for a moment. I try not to panic when they ask me after reading the results, “Um, are you seeing your doctor today?”
My November reset of no Instagram went out the window. The tests take a while so my phone is my distraction. That, and I had a friend who had twin baby boys. Can’t stay away from social media when new babies are being born!
My doctor doesn’t want me going on long walks. She wants me taking it easy. Taking it easy with a 13 month old is kind of a joke. I told her going on walks means at least he’s in the stroller and contained. It’s actually easier than playing with him outside. But still, I have stopped going on my somewhat long walks. I am not on bedrest, but have been told to take it easy.
My ambitious pregnancy to-do lists have faded away. No freezer meals will get made. I didn’t finish Declan’s baby book. I didn’t sew a Christmas quilt. But I did get some pictures printed. I did get some fabric bought. And we are hoping to have a lot of Thanksgiving leftovers that might come in handy.
This is a season where I need to be very careful to guard my heart. And my eyes. On social media or blogs, I see other mommies who made freezer meals despite having another kid. I see other mommies who sewed a special quilt for their new baby. And those are wonderful, awesome things. I love being inspired by other mommies! I cheer them on! But I must protect my heart and let a lot of to-dos drift away. The comparison game is a dangerous one. And everyone knows a pretty picture doesn’t mean a pretty behind the scenes.
My biggest to-do right now is to keep my marriage strong. I feel like a storm is coming. I don’t know if that is wrong to write. It feels wrong to write in a pregnancy update. But I feel like my husband and I are about to go through one tough season. A beautiful season, but a tough one.
In 15 days or less, our babies and us need our marriage to be the strongest it has ever been.